When it comes to dating, we all have preferences. Be it with height, hair color, or education level—we each have a mental depiction of our ideal matches. While some people have more preferences than others, there are specific characteristics we all look for when considering compatibility. Having been a professional matchmaker for over 20 years, I’ve heard every request under the sun—and believe me there are many—but one of the most popular is to be matched with someone of the same ethnic background. While it may seem like specifying which ethnicity is simply another aspect of defining your likes and dislikes, as a matchmaker it is my job to sift through your list of wants and find the best possible partners. I have helped unite thousands of couples, and regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, or region, each had the same goal: to find a life-long, loving partner. With this in mind, is having a type when it comes to race beneficial or harmful to one’s chances in finding a perfect match?
Putting yourself out there after many failed relationships is a hard task, but it is made easier with self-reflection, honesty, and relationship coaching. When it comes to dating, these three areas are vital. Certain characteristics (tall, adventurous, handy) are preferences and others (honest, family oriented, monogamous) are essential. My relationship coaching helps you decide which attributes fall into what category. With a little self-reflection and honesty, you'd be surprised how many "must-haves" on your list aren't nearly as important as you once believed they were, racial background being one of them. Ask yourself, if you met your ideal match and the phone chemistry between you two was as phenomenal as it gets, would race even matter? At that point, the emotional connection would (hopefully) supersede any doubts and outside comments.
Oftentimes, it isn’t until we are faced with the option that we even consider dating outside our ethnic backgrounds. We tend to replicate what we see in our communities; same-race dating is no different. Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with wanting to develop a relationship with someone from your own ethnicity—this choice doesn’t make you a bad person. Racial identity is a preference for some and essential for others. Like I said I’ve seen it all; while there have been a number of successful matches who preferred partners of a specific background, there are also several multi-racial couples flourishing in long-term, loving relationships. The same-race and interracial couples that I have matched are in loving relationships because they decided to go for it. Success as a couple is not determined by racial backgrounds, it’s dependent on your will to Love Big!